Stealing our Children's Birthright

Negotiation is a core part of the way everyone, of whatever age, operates. From our first breath to our last the success of our relationships depends on our ability to negotiate well.

So why are we not taught how to negotiate right from the start? Why are we not drilled with the skills at home, at nursery, primary & secondary school, college and university so that they become as natural as breathing from a very early age?

Wherever children do learn the basics of negotiation, it is as a result of watching others. Adults teach by example, without even realising they are doing so, and many of the lessons passed on this way are truly dreadful.

We work hard at teaching a child to talk. We then send it to school for years so that it can learn to read and write. But where, and in what cultures do we teach a child to listen?

How many children, young people, or even adults do you know who have been taught Spanish, Japanese, French or whatever for years at school, but have never been taught how to translate body language when they need to?

How many of your acquaintances are capable of thinking themselves into another’s shoes and working out what that other person needs from their interaction?

And how many people do you know who regularly work out life plans and goals, and use goal setting to increase their chances of success?

None of these things are inbuilt instincts, traits or talents. They are all skills, they need to be taught and they can all be improved with time and practice.

But evidently we don’t think it is worth while to teach our children these skills which could make such a difference to their lives.